Life is constantly surprising, confronting and challenging us, presenting new opportunities for reflection, healing & transformation. And while we cannot control what life has in store for us (no matter how hard we try) we can control how we respond to it.
Recently I was tested again - in a very personal and painful way. I was being asked to surrender my strong independent woman, to ask for help and rely on others for support - something that I had not done in +15 years. I resisted at first - tried to postpone the reckoning. I was filled with shame and embarrassment, frustration and resentment at my predicament. I felt like a failure. And kept it all bottled up inside me.
But we cannot hide and bottle things up forever - it is definitely not healthy or safe to do, and those repressed thoughts, feelings and emotions will manifest and express themselves in some way, shape or form at some point.
So I finally gave in.
I finally broke down.
And I let it all out.
I opened up to the ones I love and trust dearly, I let myself fully feel all of the emotions, feelings and sensations arising. I acknowledged them, gave them space to exist. I allowed them to move through me - I cried, screamed, sang, danced, journaled - until I felt empty, nothing.
And then I took a long deep breath. And then another. And another. I could feel myself coming back together. Piece by piece. Feet firmly rooted in the earth - supported by my loved ones, Pachamama, the Cosmos. I allowed myself to be held and supported.
And in opening up, being vulnerable and releasing everything I had been holding on to I created space - in my body, mind & spirit. I felt softness, ease & compassion. And in this newly created, open space, positive energy, opportunities and inspiration started flowing to me. What had once felt hopeless and dire now felt surmountable and maybe even a bit joyful.
Deeper connections were formed.
Broken communications repaired.
Re-alignment of priorities and decision-making co-created.
New exciting opportunities came my way.
And in this whole process, I found myself again - this time more balanced, grounded and open to receive.
Our breakdowns can be the source of our greatest breakthroughs. And for me, they are always an invitation to remain:
Unwavering - in my Essence, values & beliefs
Non-attached - to a particular outcome, as infinite possibilities exist and
Deeply surrendered and trusting that something much greater than ourselves has our back.
This has played out for me time and time again - and while painful, uncomfortable and humbling it is a process that has led to my most beautiful breakthroughs, strengthened my resilience and added much richness and magic to my life.
So whatever you may be experiencing or going through in your life at the moment - personally, relationship, work, money, family, etc. this is a reminder that we have the power to choose how we respond to life. And it is a reminder that even when things feel dark and hopeless, that our biggest breakdowns can turn into our most beautiful and powerful breakthroughs.