Life is constantly surprising, confronting and challenging us, presenting new opportunities for reflection, healing & transformation. And while we cannot control what life has in store for us (no matter how hard we try) we can control how we respond to it.

Recently I was tested again - in a very personal and painful way. I was being asked to surrender my strong independent woman, to ask for help and rely on others for support - something that I had not done in +15 years. I resisted at first - tried to postpone the reckoning. I was filled with shame and embarrassment, frustration and resentment at my predicament. I felt like a failure. And kept it all bottled up inside me.

But we cannot hide and bottle things up forever.

So I finally gave in.

I finally broke down.

And I let it all out.

This month has forced me to slow down…like way way down.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks home with a nasty flu. I’ve gone through the full cycle of feelings and emotions: from frustration and anger at how inconvenient it is to be sick and how I need to put everything on hold; to resistant and resentful, trying to fight back; to shame for being sick and feeling like a burden to my family; and then sad and overwhelmed - like what is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? How can I support others on their healing journey if I cannot take care of myself?

And then, finally, FINALLY, the tears come - wet, hot, steaming tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. I finally let all of these thoughts, feelings and emotions just pour out and move through me. It’s only then that I finally start to find some relief. And I know in my heart that is when the healing can start to take place.

mmm…We are moving through some big, serious and strong energies at the moment which are affecting both our inner and outer worlds - war, geo-politics, natural disasters, humanitarian crises…all of which are deeply rooted in the shadow masculine - power, oppression, control, violence, greed, abuse, narcissism - a product of our patriarchal capitalist system and deep, unprocessed trauma and wounds that go back thousands of years.

The emotions, feelings and sensations that are arising are not only percolating within us but across the planet. It can feel really fucking overwhelming - as if we could drown in the sheer weight, flow and magnitude of it all.

And it is in times like these that I feel we are being called to anchor ourselves.

Becoming a Mama has been the most profound and challenging initiation of my life. I have never felt more hopelessly and utterly lost nor unshakingly and completely found than being Mira’s Mama. I have experienced countless cycles of death & rebirth to my identity, the roles I play and my ego that I’ve stopped being surprised by the sheer number of breakdowns and breakthroughs I’ve had (and my daughter is only 9 months old…).

So many layers and masks that I was wearing - the perfectionist, the workaholic, the overachiever, the good girl, the eldest daughter, the lover, the whore, the party girl, the spiritual junkie…all of them up for examination, contemplation & reflection. Who was I before I became a Mama? Who am I now? Who do I want to be? Not only for myself, but for all those I love around me? Want kind of life do I want to live?

I am not sure about you, but with the full moon in my sign Leo I am feeling ON FIRE!

Burning with: PASSION, CREATIVITY, COURAGE, FEARLESSNESS, CLARITY & LOVE!

And I feel this deep call within to step fully into my power and radiance.

The energy of this full moon is inviting us to connect with our passion, purpose and dreams. She is inviting us to come out of hiding - whatever is holding us back or keeping us small - and to share our light and gifts with the world - however that wants to be expressed. She is asking us to let go of the limiting beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us and to stand fully in our power & radiance - shining so bright that we inspire others to do the same.

After more than a year of deep work, inward journeying and initiation I am excited to announce the launch of my new business - Inner Alchemy. I founded Inner Alchemy because I believe we are at a pivotal moment in our human, planetary and cosmic evolution. Most of us are fundamentally living out of balance with ourselves, each other and the planet. The unjust and unsustainable systems within and around us are producing fear, stress and anxiety on an individual level and social inequity, environmental destruction & spiritual bankruptcy at the macro level.

But consciousness is shifting and these systems are slowly starting to crumble. More and more people are waking up, doing the inner work and reconnecting with a deep intuitive knowing that there is more to them and more to life than what we are living. This is what I call Inner Alchemy.

My motherhood journey has been (and continues to be) a deeply spiritual and transformative initiation - one of immense shedding, shadow & mirror work and lots and lots of self- compassion, kindness and unconditional love Motherhood is a beautiful, sacred, and deeply spiritual journey – and yet our modern lives and societies have stripped away much of the magic and divinity from one of the most potent forms of creation and manifestation in the universe - conceiving, growing, birthing, and guiding new life into this world.

We are misdirected from trusting our bodies and our intuition, which can leave us feeling fearful, alone, misinformed, and disempowered. Where communities once banded together to celebrate, support, and raise new life - including caring for and exalting new mamas - we are often forced to figure it out and manage on our own, with limited support, networks, and the space to do the exhausting but crucial work of raising the next generation of human beings.

But our bodies possess divine intelligence, our feelings and emotions are our teachers and guides, our intuition is connected to universal source consciousness, and our desire to connect, share and care from a place of unconditional love is exactly what makes us human. Spirituality and spiritual practices can help us to remember the divine wisdom, power, and intelligence of our body-mind-spirit, re-connecting us to ourselves, our babies, and our communities so that we can fully awaken, embrace, trust and surrender to the awe, magic, and mystery of motherhood.