This month has forced me to slow down…like way way down.
I’ve spent the last 2 weeks home with a nasty flu. I’ve gone through the full cycle of feelings and emotions: from frustration and anger at how inconvenient it is to be sick and how I need to put everything on hold; to resistant and resentful, trying to fight back; to shame for being sick and feeling like a burden to my family; and then sad and overwhelmed - like what is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? How can I support others on their healing journey if I cannot take care of myself?
And then, finally, FINALLY, the tears come - wet, hot, steaming tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. I finally let all of these thoughts, feelings and emotions just pour out and move through me. It’s only then that I finally start to find some relief. And I know in my heart that is when the healing can start to take place.
I start to soften and surrender. I breathe more deeply, slowly and mindfully. I come back to all of the things that nourish me: gentle yoga practice, warm magnesium salt baths, Reiki, EFT tapping, guided meditations, warm soups & teas, relaxing and inspiring podcasts or series, lots of rest and a whole lot of softness, compassion and kindness to myself - basically all the delicious things I am constantly sharing with you to do!
And in this process, I start to see my sickness as an invitation to slow down and go inward. To really listen to and feel what is alive in me - not just any sensation or pain in my physical body - but what is happening in my emotional, mental and spiritual body. And I ask myself:
What needs tending to?
What wants to be seen and acknowledged?
What wants to be processed and let go of?
It is a process of deeply honouring and respecting my own unique rhythm. Of how I am feeling and what is alive in that moment. Not the endless list of to dos or should dos. Not the ideas and beliefs in my mind, the expectations I have for myself or others or society more broadly - but my own unique rhythm.
Sometimes I am pure fire - and there is absolutely no stopping me.
Sometimes I feel like earth - grounded, steady and stable.
Sometimes I feel like air - wafting, shapeshifting and transcending.
Sometimes I feel like water - moving with the flow, surrendering to life, letting the emotions just move through me.
And sometimes I am just one big soggy, sticky, deflated mess - and its all OK.
The more I really listen to and honour myself and my unique rhythm, the more peace I feel. The more acceptance, softness and spaciousness becomes available. And from that place, the easier it is to tap into my joy, my radiance and my magic.
So this month, I invite you to really tune into yourself - explore and discover your own unique rhythm. Learn your cycles and how your body, mind and spirit flow and feel in these cycles. And see if you can really honour yourself, your rhythm and your needs. Figure out what nourishes you and do those things. Make the changes - big and small - to your life that support your own unique rhythm. And F everything else ;)
Sending you lots of love & healing vibes!
Aho, Nataliie